On Mondays, I like to write about things I have done to make my days count (scheduling, goal setting, etc.). Today, I am going to write about something that has strengthened my marriage SO MUCH. Now, I feel like Jeff and I had a pretty good marriage before, but this has still been a game changer for us. And it’s so simple…. We just charge our phones in the kitchen. You guys. I’m not kidding. It has been the best thing for us. In case you need some convincing, I’ll tell you how it’s strengthened our marriage.
I feel like it is so common (or at least I HOPE we aren’t the only ones like this) for couples our age to get in bed, and then do stuff on their phones for a while, and then go to bed. That was us like every single night. Then one day, we were talking about what we could do to grow closer as a couple, and we thought that we needed to carve out some more time in the day to just spend time together and talk. I immediately thought about how much time we spent on our phones while in bed, and the thought came to me that the reason we always do that, is because we charge our phones on the night stands right next to us, and so we had such easy access to them. So, the next day, I did something really radical–I BOUGHT REAL LIFE ALARM CLOCKS. Okay, not like “real life,” as in alarm clocks that are alive. I just mean, honest to goodness alarm clocks. Then, we moved our phone chargers to the kitchen. I eventually wanted to be a little more crafty and make our “charging station” a little cuter, so I bought a little tray to put them in, and made a little sign on a chalkboard to hang above the tray. I bought both things at Hobby Lobby. Which, PS, that store is so dangerous for me. I want to buy all the things. Anyway, here is the finished product:
Now, Jeff and I have a rule that we don’t look at our phones at all after 9:00 pm. We hook them up to their chargers and go to our room. After we get ready for bed, we pray together–because, let’s be honest… who wants to get out of bed to kneel after you’ve already been in bed? We now read a book together every night (at the moment we are reading “Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood,” which I read when I was in college, but is pretty darn applicable now that we have a toddler). Here is the link for you to get that book on Amazon. I LOVE it. It has been great for us to discuss how we want to parent our daughter, and what changes we can make in our parenting to make sure we are raising a responsible, kind, thoughtful daughter. SO much better than reading funny tweets to each other… Not that there is anything wrong with that in general. Then we study from the scriptures together. Right now we are using this study guide from The Redheaded Hostess, but she has a lot of other great study guides. It has been wonderful to end our night reading the word of God together, and I love learning from Jeff.
Another great thing about this is that we always go to bed at the same time. Now, I say go to bed, not go to sleep, because Jeff has this AMAZING ability to fall asleep within 2 minutes, whereas I tend to take a bit longer. (He also has a pretty amazing ability to sleep through the baby crying.) But even if we don’t go to bed right away, without our phones right next to us, we have a lot more “pillow talk,” and we flirt and tease each other like we did when we were dating. Plus, we also often ask each other questions about our childhoods, and it’s been so fun to get to know him better.
Since we started doing this, I have felt so much more connected to Jeff. Before we had a baby, we had all evening to talk to each other and spend time together, but now, our couple time is really just limited to after Adeline is already in bed. So this has really helped us capitalize on the time we DO have together. We have become better friends, and this has been a great reminder that our marriage should be our first priority.
I really, really, really cannot recommend this practice more. So. If you feel like maybe you need to connect with your significant other a little bit more, give this a try. I promise you won’t be disappointed!